the screaming pigs

No, that's not the name of a new rock band. It's the sound I listened to this morning as I sat on our back porch and drank my morning coffee. A group of boys were herding several pigs down the street that runs alongside our townhouse complex. The sound was something between a car that won't start and nails on a chalk board. Whoever coined the term "squeal of delight" was definitely not listening to a group of hogs - if so something like "grunt of fear and anguish" would have been more appropriate.

with thanksgiving

When I met these 18-month-old marasa (twins) a month ago, they were both frighteningly skinny, covered with sores and had only patches of brittle orange hair. The little boy had a respiratory infection. The little girl had no appetite -she was clingy and irritable. Just four weeks later, after receiving rehabilitation doses of the “peanut butter medicine” and a course of antibiotics they have put on enough weight to be taken off the rehabilitation diet. Their hair is growing back. They are laughing and playing. The little boy ran ran around our office (the little girl still seems a bit developmentally delayed). Their mother and auntie were very relieved. While I still fear that we may see them back again in a few months (we counseled the mother on improved feeding practices but her lack of financial means are likely the biggest obstacle to caring for her kids), for now I am just thankful.

melon in manhattan?

Vertical farms (http://www.verticalfarm.com/) – the solution to urban food crisis? Not sure but they sure look cool.

Wi Nou Kapab

We were on the way home from the clinic about a month ago when my eye caught a very familiar looking logo on the back of an SUV sitting next to us in traffic - a blue circle with rising white sun over red and white stripes. While at first glance it looked like a typical campaign bumper sticker, looking closer I read "Obama/Biden Wi Nou Kapab" (Haitian Kreyol for "yes we can"). I've been doing my best to track one down as a little memorial of a historical election and a big birthday here in Haiti. I think they may have been produced by Young Haitians for Obama but haven't managed to find one yet.

As in much of the world, Obama is very popular in Haiti. There were pre-election pro-Obama rallies here in Port-au-prince. The unfolding of the US election results was broadcast live on local Haitian television. I even saw a flyer advertising a concert in his honor. At 12:30am on Nov 5, my co-worker sent me a celebratory text message with the electoral college vote tally. Later that morning at work, after she finally saw Obama in person for the first time on the TV in the waiting room, she told me that she thinks I look like Obama. A very blue eyed, blond haired North American friend later told me that one of his Haitian colleagues said the same thing to him. I can definitively say that my friend does NOT look anything like Obama but I'm still just going to take my colleague's statement for the compliment I am pretty sure it was intended to be!

While it's not surprising that many Haitians were pro-Obama; what is more interesting is that back during the primaries a good portion of the Haitian population was very afraid of Hillary Clinton becoming president. There is a complex history between Haiti and the Clintons. (A warning - I do not know as much about this as I should and thus this explanation is likely oversimplified) This 2003 Wall Street Journal article gives you some quick background on why Bill Clinton is considered by many Haitians as a friend and supporter of former president Arisitide. Aristide, who had been democratically elected in 1990 but then overthrown in 1991 in a military coup, came back to power in 1994 with the backing of the Clinton administration. In more recent years, there have been lawsuits filed in the US accusing Aristide of receiving kick-backs from corrupt deals with US telecommunications companies that have ties to high-level officials from Clinton's administration.

Aristide, now more or less in exile in South Africa after being forcibly removed from office in 2004 (once again with US government involvement) remains an incredibly divisive personality here on the island and among the Haitian diaspora. As an outsider, it's almost impossible for me to know of what to think of him. He started as a liberation theologian priest with a strong voice for the poor and social justice. By the time he left office, Aristide's tenure was clouded by allegations of inciting political violence and kidnapping, involvement in the drug trade and generalized corruption. A certain percentage of the population still hopes for his return to political power. Many others, including most of the middle and upper class, see him as a corrupt and dangerous person who furthered Haiti's decline into poverty and violence. They fear his return.

Given the associations here between the Clintons and Aristide, it will be very interesting to hear what rumors start floating about if Hillary does indeed get appointed Secretary of State. I would not be surprised if it fuels some whisperings again about Aristide's return to Haiti - a fairly common rumor that surfaces at almost any opportunity. It's so interesting (and quite scary actually) to watch how dominant a role US politics and policies can play in a place that so few of North Americans ever even think twice of - except when it comes to mission trip support letters or fund drives for the latest disaster relief effort. The truth is that your US electoral vote may be more of a contribution to Haiti's wellbeing (or not) than a jump-a-thon pledge to support such causes ever could.

Back to an Obama note..to the right is a picture of my favorite piece of Obama propaganda. A fabulous set of chairs on display at a store in NYC. The print actually reminds me quite a bit of fabrics common in Central and West Africa that feature bright pop art-esque images of political candidates, musicians and other famous folks that people proudly sew and sport as shirts and dresses. Would not be surprised if some people are already decked out in Obama's image there too.

close encounters of the best kind

One of the wonderful advantages of having already worked in the international development arena for several years before coming to Haiti for my grad school research is that I have a network of friends/former colleagues who actually end up coming down to Port-au-Prince on work-related visits.

I've gotten to see one of my best friend's husbands twice this last year - but missed his most recent visit last week because I was the one back in the USA. (G - I do actually count you as my friend now too!) I randomly ran into a DC-based friend-of-a-friend at a hotel bar here earlier this year and I have another fellow former WR'r who is coming down at the start of December with her latest job. Today though, I had an extra special visit with "Uncle" Ken - former WR chief microfinance guru who is here for a month-long consulting assignment. We met up for church and brunch with two of my newest favorite blans in Haiti - A and B - MCC volunteers who recently started a 3-year term in Port-au-Prince. Here are a couple photos for all my fellow Kenny G-fans:

I spent 8-18 November traveling back to Ithaca to work through some issues related to my research with one of my advisers. It was extremely helpful - but not quite as productive as I would have liked since I had a really bad sinus cold that knocked me out by 8 or 9 pm each night. It's still lingering around as I write this evening.

As always, I tried to maximize my time in the USA by seeing as many of my friends as I possibly could. Am thankful that a good number of them are still clustered on the east coast. I flew from Haiti to Philly to visit the lovely S family and pick up my car which they graciously watch over in order to drive to Ithaca. During my week in Ithaca I stayed with the other S family - the Philly-based S family's in-laws who have been gracious hosts and caretakers throughout my Cornell experience. I had too short but still lovely visits with four of my Ithaca gal pals, a few happy encounters with fellow nutrition grad students (who I must say are a pretty great group of people all around) but sadly missed the change to personally welcome the brood of babies that have been born to Ithaca friends over the last few months. I didn't want to pass along my nasty cold. They will likely be walking by the time I do actually get to meet them!

After Ithaca it was on to NYC for a very lovely weekend with my parents who flew into town just to see me. We wandered the city quite a bit - highlights include eating lots of good food, visiting the Tenement Museum on the Lower East Side, picking up a couple books at the Strand, perusing ABC Carpet and Home (and then wondering if I should attempt to marry a plastic surgeon or bond trader so I can shop there one day) and taking in the new James Bond movie rather than trying for Broadway hot tix (a choice I do not regret). On Sunday, we met up with another set of dear friends (yet another S family) for church and after sending my parents off to the airport, I traveled uptown to Harlem for 24 hours with these S's before jet setting back to Haiti . (Sorry if any of you other lovely NYC-based folks read this and wonder why I didn't get in touch - my lingering cold kept me from going full speed. A la pwochenn - I promise).

Oh and I even got a bonus friend encounter along the way! As I was walking into baggage claim at the Philadelphia airport I heard someone calling my name. It was the C's - dear friends and fellow Chicagoans with Cornell connections. (We met in Ithaca but see each other each time I pass through the Windy City). They had also just arrived to the Philly airport in order to attend a family member's wedding. Despite my jet-lag, I was so thankful for such an unexpected encouragement that I captured it to share with the rest of you.

the budget diet

A couple weeks ago the NYT featured this story about the realities of eating in American on a tight budget. It featured a California couple who spent a month eating on a dollar per day - $2 per day for their household. They blogged about their experience here. The already vegetarian couple lived on beans and grains. Fresh fruits and vegetables were pretty much out of their budget reach. He lost 13 pounds while she lost 5.

I was struck by how similar some of the issues faced by the couple are to those I see all around me in Port-au-Prince. In Haiti, 80% of households live on less than 2 dollars per day - about half live on less than $1. From my personal observations, food prices are really not so different from those in the USA. A small can of condensed milk (enough for 1 baby bottle if reconstituted) costs 20 gourdes - about 50 US cents. A single banana averages about 8-10 gourdes - 20 to 25 US cents. A packet of saltine crackers is about the cheapest option out there at 5 gourdes - 8 cents US. The photo above features the ingredients of labouyi bon bon sel - generally considered the cheapest and quickest porridge there is (quick cooking means cheap because you don't have to pay for as much charcoal for the cooking fire). With the milk - which some families can't afford, it costs 30 gourdes (75 cents) to prepare.

Multiply those food costs by 2-6 children and 1-3 adults and it is no wonder that the pictures and news coming out of Haiti are so sad. In the context of rising global food prices and in the wake of the hurricanes child malnutrition is on the rise. I know I've personally seen more and more cases of severe malnutrition among children of mothers at our clinic.

On the flip side, for most families living on a tight food budget in the USA, risk of obesity is actually the greater concern. The NYT article also featured findings a study of food prices in Seattle-area supermarkets conducted by the University of Washington which found that: “energy dense” junk foods, which pack the most calories and fewest nutrients per gram, were far less expensive than nutrient-rich, lower-calorie foods like fruits and vegetables. The prices of the most healthful foods surged 19.5 percent over the two-year study period, while the junk food prices dropped 1.8 percent."

The United States is not the only the only place where relative poverty is associated with growing risks of obesity. PRI's The World did an interesting series on obesity at the end of 2007 including this story from the Republic of South Africa.

In what has been coined "the nutrition transition" there has been a documented increase in nutrition-related chronic diseases such as obesity, diabetes and heart disease in many low and middle income countries at all income levels. Most telling of the complexity of this trend is the growing number of households where two forms of malnutrition co-exist - overnutrition (obesity) in mothers and undernutrition in children. Analysis of a 1989 national survey in Brazil showed that among malnourished children under 4 years old, almost 22% had an overweight or obese mother.

30-some reflections

I turned 30 on November 4^th here in Port-au-Prince. It really wasn’t that big of a deal – it was positively overshadowed by the US electoral frenzy. I’ve basically been saying that I was already 30 for the last year - so I just finally feel like I’m being honest.

The most official/near-the-date celebration was put together by my lovely co-workers at the clinic on Nov 5 (they tried to do it on the day but we were so busy that the cake sat uneaten until the next day) - here are a few photos of the brief but very sweet fete (party).

I did make another attempt to celebrate the weekend before by inviting some people over for cake and wine with hopes of then going to a concert by a local band I really like. That ended up turning into a bit of a Bridget Jones style self pity party when effectively no one actually showed up and I was left there sitting alone, listening to Feist, drinking white wine, looking at the uneaten cake and then crying to my parents on the phone.

(I have to make the disclaimer that several people RSVPed that they would have liked to but just could not come; one other friend spent the entire morning and afternoon with me leading up to the attempted party which was really great; my two neighbors stopped by a little after the intended party start time and helped me drink the bottle of wine and eat the cake; and another friend ended up taking me out to a different club than the concert I was hoping for. Two days later at an election party some of the same people who didn’t show up for the weekend party bought me a cake and sang. I was not totally abandoned!)

Three weeks on I still feel a need to mark this 30^th year somehow on this blog and so for lack of other means at the moment, I’ll present 30 statements/ thoughts/ reflections/ confessions/ ideas/ hopes related to my life so far and my life to come (si bondye vle).

I’m actually trying to stay committed to not over-thinking/over-editing this list (hence rambling/random nature). I am also committed to not putting anything up here that will put my job prospects into jeopardy when this is potentially rediscovered in cyberspace even after I have attempted to take it down. If you want details or to know what’s missing, just ask me in person! If you see something here that would make you not want to hire me, let me know.

So here it goes – this is probably more for me than any of you so don’t feel like you have to stick through this entire list. It’s probably better than you don’t….

1. I really really love spicy food. 10 years ago – not so much. Siracha sauce is the secret ingredient in almost everything I cook (shhh). Don’t worry though, if I ever invite you to dinner and I don’t know whether you also like spicy food, I will put it on the side

2. I wanted to pierce my nose after college but I didn’t do it because I was going to work with conservative church-related people in East Africa. Now I realize no one would have really cared that much if I had done it. I don’t want to pierce my nose anymore but I do still want a tattoo. I've already picked out a design that I think I could live with for the next 50 years or so. Stay tuned…

3. If I wasn’t who I am right now - working in public health in contexts like Haiti, I’d probably aspire to be this person or this person or this person. Maybe even this person. I think I see a pattern here.

4. I used to feel that my relative maturity was a huge part of my identity. I loved it when people said “you’re only 23 and you are doing/thinking/saying x, y, z” Now that maturity is a bit more the expectation, I can see how immature I was/am/will likely continue to be. Hopefully there is still a lifetime of character formation yet to come.

5. I am a procrastinator. I’ve always known this. I used to want to change it….but always put off trying. Now I can’t decide whether it is worth changing. Let’s face it - I kind of like it. Plus now I have blogging, the perfect enabler for it.

6. Ten years ago, I would have said my late 20’s would be defined by falling in love and getting married somewhere between 26-28 and having a baby at 30. Well, that has not happened. I’m somehow very disappointed and yet also very grateful – a bit more preoccupied than I want to be but trying to keep it overall hopeful about what is yet to come.

7. I have had some absolutely amazing mentors over the last 10 years. Women (and some men) from all corners of the world. Some more established; some from a distance. I wish I was better about maintaining those precious connections now. I wish I were a better listener then. Thank you.

8. I am thankful for the “professional path” I’ve traveled so far. I love that I have arrived at the field of nutrition – an area of focus which I really think I will be happy to dedicate a lifetime of work to. That said, over the last 8.5 years, I still don’t feel like I’ve found a work rhythm that I truly enjoy on a day-to-day basis. I actually often get bored – not because I don’t have enough I should do at each job each day but rather I can’t change up things enough to satisfy me. I love to write but I have my limits. I love to think but sometimes I just want to do. I want to know what it’s like to be a “front line worker”. I love being with people. I love talking to moms. My public health-related focus so far doesn’t really enable that. I think I know that the best thing to do is to continue in my current path – to spend my 30’s deepening my knowledge of nutrition, working on ways to address real world nutritional problems (rather than book/classroom-level) and developing my skills as a teacher. But part of me can’t stop thinking about becoming a pediatrician. I’d probably love the ends but the means makes me want to throw up….

9. In the last 5 years I think I finally started to understand and truly appreciate a wide range of arts and artists. I honestly don’t think I had ever really experienced the depth of feelings needed to get it. I've come a long way fast…

10. I have never wanted to go into outer space and I don’t think I ever will. I also am not so into the idea of scuba diving - mostly because I think the pressure would hurt my ears too much - and because 25+ years after seeing Jaws I am still afraid of sharks.

11. The 3 places I’ve been to that I would most like to go back to are the Democratic Republic of Congo, Mozambique and Ireland.

12. The places I still want to go? Well, quite a lot. But current top places are Southeast Asia (Cambodia, Laos, Viet Nam), Paris, India, Ethiopia and basically everywhere featured in the second half of my favorite James Bond movie, Casino Royale.

13. I read way too fast to actually remember most any of it. With novels, I usually read too fast to even remember the general story line afterwards. It’s all about being entertained/ distracted in the moment.

14. I definitely regret not taking more philosophy, literature or theology in college. I honestly think I avoided them because I was afraid of failure. Now I am afraid of not being able to ask good questions…which is probably exactly what those fields would have taught me.

15. I am truly a child of the suburbs. Before college the longest road trip I had ever taken was something like the 6 hour drive to camp (which was overnight) and then the 3-4 hour drive to Springfield, IL. Because of my dad’s business travels, we always flew places on his free frequent flyer miles rather than drive. Those few drives felt like forever. Before college, my only trips out of USA were for family vacations to Canada, Mexico and Costa Rica. Before college, I had only been tent camping once – and that was at a Yogi Bear camp ground in Indiana with my high school friends. We were the only tents in a sea of RVs.

16. I’m a bit stupidly prideful about the fact that I’ve never gone on any group travel that involved wearing matching t-shirts and proselytizing. I am definitely embarrassed of my Evangelical identity when I see such groups coming down on flights to Haiti. I know that I am being judgmental – and I expect that I will even have to take it back one day when I finally put on a matching t-shirt myself.

17. I fear that my interest in cookbooks borderlines on obsession. I acquire something like 5 per year – even though I hardly ever cook - especially not in Haiti. I love to read them, look at pictures, think about cooking, I already know I am going to be cursing them every time it comes time to move again …

18. I don’t think I’ll ever have hair longer than chin-length again. I have finally fully embraced the fact that I didn’t get the genes for the thick dark wavy Heidkamp hair.

19. After being secretly proud of the fact that I hadn’t seen any yet, in March I realized it was just poor lighting that had kept me from discovering my grey hair before then. I have a lot.

20. I really like my name – Rebecca Anne. (although I do think the Rebekah spelling is more interesting) After switching from Becky to Rebecca when I went to college, I still feel like I have a bit of a new and improved identity…not to offend or scare any of you who liked Becky.

21. I’ve realized that I am such an idealist / perfectionist / thinker type that I often am satisfied by just knowing about / thinking through something rather than ever acting upon or experiencing it. That’s not how you change the world.

22. I don’t think I’ll ever be anyone’s maid of honor;. That used to really bother me. It really doesn’t anymore. I’m still hopeful to get to be a godmother….although I’m not sure I’m ready yet.

23. Even after a Wheaton College education, I still couldn’t tell you all the book of the Bible in order. That disappoints me. I know it’s not essential but I feel like it’s testimony to my ever-since-childhood tendency to allow my perfectionism lead me to quit trying on my own accord well before I could potentially fail while still trying… This is much deeper than knowing a list of books…but this not the time to go there….

24. I wish I had a green thumb. I would love to be one of those hipster urban organic farmer types….but the reality is I can’t even keep a house plant alive and I really don’t like manual labor all that much.

25. I wish a were a pet person….but the reality is that with the exception of a few lonely evenings when I think it would be nice to have a feline or canine companion, I think that they are way too much money and work and hassle.

26. I hope to be part of a community improv comedy troop one day and to learn how to use photoshop and other graphic design software. I’d like to join a non-fiction writers workshop and maybe learn how to give real manicures and pedicures. I don’t ever want to write a novel.

27. I don’t think I’m as nice as I used to be. At least I know that I don’t care as much about what other think of me as I did before. I know that’s natural and overall I’m thankful….but I’m a little afraid of it too.

28. I totally change the way I speak depending on who I am talking to.... without thinking about it. I actually thing it’s kind of annoying. Over the summer, I was in a store in Chicago and asked the woman working there whether or not all of the shirts were OUT.. She immediately asked if I was Canadian. I felt kind of stupid saying that I was from Chicago but that I hang out with lots of Canadians in Haiti…

29. I still have an aversion to churros (fried dough sticks) after having a bad one in a school lunch in Palatine, IL back in 3^rd grade or so that made me want to throw up. I honestly can’t think of any other food that I totally dislike except this corn drink that one of the family members I lived with in Honduras made - corn as a beverage just doesn’t work for me

30. My worldview has shifted to interpreting most of what I see through a structural/ ecological/ historical lens. I really have come to embrace the idea that we are mostly products of our environments - with a bit of genetics, volition and God's grace thrown in. I am privileged by little to no act or merit of my own. If I were in the shoes of the mothers and children I work with, I would be no better - and likely much worse - physically off then many of them are. I am privileged because of where, when and to whom I was born. Part of my vocation is to help be a small part of bringing about structural / ecological /environmental change that makes such privilege a little less privileged and a little more about honoring each and every person's life, rights and value.

Pumpkin politics

My dear friend SLS got political in her pumpkin carving this year. I'm sure this is only one of thousands of Sarah Palin pumpkins that graced Halloween porches across the United States this election year...but I'll go ahead and elect this one as my favorite without waiting for the input of CNN or SNL (favorite pumpkin that is - honestly not quite my favorite politician)

I was very relieved to finally receive my absentee ballot in the mail last week. New York allows you to post mark the ballot up to November 3rd so I sent it off with a US-bound traveler on Friday afternoon. While my vote won't likely "matter" much in my already deep blue state, this is one election that I just couldn't bear the thought of missing....