Four weeks post quake I find myself back at my very familiar desk in the nutrition office at the clinic. Sitting here - facing the wall in the back corner of the room - it's easy to pretend that nothing has changed. But it just takes a glance over my shoulder to see the piles of donated supplies and the relocated accounting department to remind me that most everything here is different.
Yesterday we had a memorial service for 3 clinic staff members who died in the quake. We are almost certain a 4th person died but his body has not been found yet. According to Haitian law, he will be considered a "missing person" until 5 years have passed with no recovered body. Only then he will be officially dead and we can have a memorial. There seems to be something positively hopeful in that - leaving space for unexpected resurrections - but also so difficult as family and friends cling to dimming hope.
In the midst of these surreal surroundings - the tent cities in every open space, piles of rubble along every street, pancaked buildings, aid workers tents covering the airport - I am struck by what has stayed the same. In the midst of crisis the core of people comes out. And I am surrounded here at the clinic by so many people with such solid cores - intelligent, compassionate, hopeful people. We still laugh. We still tease. (and I admittedly still get annoyed by a few folks who tested my patience before) Even with Miss M, my dearest coworker who lost so much - her only child, her mother, her sister and five other close relative - we find bits of joy while leaving as much room as she needs to express her pain.
I am thankful for this time back in Haiti. (although I admittedly could do without the ongoing aftershocks - last night's rumble sent sent my stomach to the floor as we slept with the mosquitos under the clear sky) There is so much to be done - our team needs to launch an incredible number of activities in these two short weeks that remain in my trip. I am motivated a bit by fear - fear of failing those who have already endured so much. But also by hope - that one more life saved is reason enough to try.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
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2 comments:
Beautiful post, Rebecca. I am so sad to hear of the tremendous loss your friend has suffered. Though I've heard many from my friends and co-workers, these stories of loss still make me want to cry.
Rebecca, I am glad you can be back in the place you love for awhile and can find moments of laughter and joy even in the midst of grief and pain and heartbreak and what have to be moments of throwing your hands up in the air and wondering what in the world you can do and why in the world this happened. I am so sorry for your friend. I cannot begin to imagine a loss of that magnitude. Know we are praying for you and all those around you. May the Lord give you peace even in the darkest moments.
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